things i have learned & thoughts i've solidified while living in san francisco01. i have a weakness for sweater-donning men (or just people in general, actually!) who read paperback books on public transport. i simultaneously have a strong aversion to people who are easily distracted by screens. there is a deep sense of hypocrisy that arises within me whenever this crosses my mind.
02. some people have chosen to brand themselves as generous by making a career out of altruistic, impactful work, but it is sometimes merely a facade to come off as "good." the narcissism is unreal. intentions matter and should be validated.
03. i’ve always known that i am an easy target for teasing and bullying, even in adulthood, but i finally accepted that i am not what those “friends” say i am. which, i know, seems obvious, but for too long i’ve allowed the smallest of cuts to carve out a home for a shiny new insecurity. the occasional compliment does not right all the wrongs; i am too quick to forgive and forget for the sake of others. i deserve to be around people who do not find amusement in my discomfort and misery. it’s okay to let go of people who you hold in high regard but do not make you feel good about yourself. they have their own shit to figure out.
04. the focus on "progressing humanity" oftentimes feels willfully ignorant to all the ramifications of our technology. how will it affect the people not in your bubble, like those of different ethnicities, ages, income levels, etcetera? what about the creatures around us? the oceans, the forests, the deserts? the planet as a whole? within the tech world, we oftentimes hide behind grandiose mission statements about helping people, saving the world, pushing the envelope, but it's less common for us to be thoughtful and empathetic to things that are outside of our experience. there's a difference between doing something because it's going to get you on that forbes 30 under 30 list and actually contributing meaningfully to the world.
05. humans have an incredible propensity for normalizing unpleasant things to cope in their day-to-day, but, in the process, we become desensitized to and out of touch with things that actually matter. as it relates to the housing crisis in san francisco, it hurts to see the lack of compassion and empathy, the undignified stepping over of others as if we are above it all, and the entitled complaints about dirty streets and unsightly scenes. how can it be so human, to dehumanize others? it's been important to me to keep this in mind and surround myself with people who inspire me to push for change.
06. sometimes people will lash out when you cannot give them the pieces of you that they want. don't listen to the things they say about you during those times; the things they say in those moments are more of a reflection of who they are than who you are. they weren't meant to hold a place in your life, no matter how wonderful they seemed at the beginning.
07. i have always dressed the way i wish to regardless of what others say, but i need to be better at letting snide remarks roll off my shoulders more effortlessly. i'm not a hippy because i wear long, cozy cardigans and gigantic tortoise shell glasses. i'm not a basic bitch because i like hats that make my outfits look cool. i'm not a slutty anime girl begging for attention because knee high socks keep me warm in the winter. fuck you, i dress for myself, not for your validation or to fit into your oversimplified archetype that serves as a stopgap for your pea-brained inability to acknowledge depth and complexity in other humans.
08. one of many failures of the american education system is teaching us that capitalism is, without a doubt, the best possible system we can have for the structures of our society, making the assumption that all those who “deserve” it will thrive in this system that just disguises inequities and justifies inequalities. thank you, capitalism, for all these fucking useless jobs and the subsequent kool-aid that some people drink just to avoid existential crises.
09. i'll end this on a questionable shower thought that is really cheesy but makes me giggle every time i think about it: friendship is like PUBG – the more time passes, the smaller the circle becomes, and, in the end, only good people remain. the friends that put in the effort to be good to you, to fix issues in the relationship, to maintain a caring connection... hold those people close because they're so, so hard to find. don't let emotional vampires trick you into investing energy into them. they're just going to shoot the shit out of you with their M4 when you walk out of the shed after an agreed upon truce. :( ok. the more i expand on this, the more i realize how bad the metaphor is but this is kind of a hilarious ending to my learnings in SF, so i'm going to leave this in.
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