without you, today's emotions would be the scurf of yesterday's

there's a brief moment in the final scene of amélie that i adore. in the middle of all the excitement and delight, she rests her cheek against his sweater and closes her eyes, as if she's trying to fully take in the feeling of him. i wanted to try painting that gentleness.

this was, without a doubt, my favorite movie in high school and was massively formative to my emotional development. after rewatching it this past weekend, i’ve come to realize that though i still identify with some pieces of the movie version of amélie, it now feels like i’m living the life she would have after the movie’s ending.

there’s another scene i love, where the narrator says, “amélie has a strange feeling of absolute harmony. it’s a perfect moment. soft light, a scent in the air, the quiet murmur of the city. she breathes deeply. life is simple and clear.”

it took me years to fully understand that joy.